Muslim Brotherhood
Middle Eastern Countries
Dear Muslim Brotherhood,
I understand that you hate Americans and want to kill each one of us 1000 times, which is impossible in the first place, so I want to give you a few pointers on how to make us mad and possibly entice some of us to come after you and you’ll get your chance to kill us, but only one chance!
First of all, while you’re gathered in your caves sitting around your rock tables, sipping a nice hot cup of camel dung and date tea, plotting your next Anti American insult or attack, (mostly insults) because you have no transportation to travel to attack us!
Not for lack of desire, but because camels can’t swim that far and I’m not aware of an air force that you may have, or a fleet of ships that you’ve cleverly concealed from us!
Your decision to remain archaic has hindered your chances to any understanding of modern warfare, so sadly your choice of rock throwing or little RPG’s and AK-47’s haven’t a chance over our drones or our heat-seeking armor piercing weapons.
I have compiled several offensive and rather overused Middle Eastern tactics, which could use refreshing to perhaps become more effective in your future ranting!
Name Calling-
1-“Infidel” has been so overused that it’s lost it’s meaning and is mockingly worn on American tee shirts as a joke on you! Sort of an “In your face, you insane Jihad monkey”!
May I suggest switching back to “Capitalist Pigs”? This might tweak some American interest in your ranting!
2- “Death to America”: Again, this is getting rather lackluster, don’t you agree? It’s akin to scratching fingernails across a chalkboard at this point! You really need a new line, say for instance, “American’s eat pigs and we don’t like them because we don’t eat pigs, although we hear they are very tasty”!
Do you see how that gives you a reason to hate us? Because we can eat pigs and you can't!
The old green eyed monster has been the cause of many wars and cat fights!
3- “Mohammad is the Prophet and the Americans don’t believe us”! Well my dear terrorist, it saddens me to inform you that Mohammad was a descendant of Ismael, the bastard son of Abraham. He was also a murdering shameless pedophile. Read a history book, it’s as simple as that to clear this whole thing up! Then we can be friends!
4- Let’s talk about American Flag Burning: First of all, the American Flags that you’re burning are made in China, so maybe you’re offending the Chinese by destroying their fine products, but you certainly aren’t offending us, sorry, you’re just not!
However, I have a remedy to that problem that will help all parties involved!
Buy your American flags from an American Flag making company, that way, you will be the proud Jihaddi on your block who can say, “Look at me, I’m burning an authentic American flag, while shouting, “American’s eat pigs and we don’t like them because we don’t eat pigs, although we hear they’re very tasty”!
Plus, by buying American flags to burn, you’re generously supporting our capitalist economy, which we greatly appreciate! Your business is welcome!
Thanks and have a super day!
Signed,
An average pig eating American
Too funny.
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